Blog 1: Unfurling

The past two years of my life have been a rather intense midlife experience, including separation, anxiety/depression, family health issues, and beyond. This past June I left my job, a career field I have worked in my entire life. As an educator of young children I could no longer find any level of peace or joy as overwhelming anxiety took hold during the pandemic. Years of baby booger trails on my clothing being the markings of a wonderfully nurturing day at work, became covid cess pool in my mind. I took a leave, trying to find a path back to work, created a plan, tried so, so hard, but my fear coated everything. My only peace, from the endless spiral of anxiety, was when I was outside.

I set off on an adventure to really be in the moment, find joy again, and experience the world. I was drawn to the woods, the mountains, the deserts, the ocean, feeling not just relief from anxiety but sparks of joy again as I moved along the paths and trails, soaking in the sunlit meadow or the secret waterfall, eating blackberries and sorrel, and letting the enormous beauty of this world take over the smallness of my own mental nightmare. The more I was immersed, the greater the joy, and the certainty that my next step toward healing was doing a thru hike of the Appalachian Trail.

I have joined a multitude of hiking groups and found some common themes among the hikers. Many are seeking some level of peace mentally, some are fighting cancer and other health issues, some have realized during the pandemic that now is the time to truly live your joy. I have already begun to create connections with many people in these hiking groups, and hope to hike, journey and support each other along the way.

I am slowly unfurling, like a fern in spring, one small movement at a time, as life opens up in front of me.