Blog 2: Ferns

A few years ago I had the opportunity to go on a study tour in New Zealand. I visited early childhood programs and met the most amazing people. At the very end I left myself a few free days to adventure, and when searching for what I wanted to do or see I typed in ferns. I have loved ferns my entire life, surrounded by them in Oregon as a child, they were incorporated into all my thoughts and imaginings, fairies, elves, magic and wonder. I knew I wanted to see the variety and abundance of ferns and be out in nature while in New Zealand. I discovered in my search that the fern is of great significance to the Maori people. The Koru symbol is used in the artwork of the Maori and means strength, inner growth, finding peace, and beginnings.

I’ve held this connection to ferns in my head and heart, swirling around with all the other feelings and emotions of the past few years. In a recent conversation, for a potential podcast episode about hiking the AT, the interviewer threw out the phrase “unfurling anxiety”. I instantly thought of a fern, of being tightly wound, protected, almost stuck, and of then slowly letting go, unfurling frond by frond, connecting to the movement, the moment, the emotions, and embracing change.

When I am in nature, the ocean, the woods, mountains, I feel safe exploring my anxiety. I feel connected, anchored by the roots to the earth, and able to move through my thoughts lightly, letting them go as easily as they arrive. I feel no judgement, I place no judgement, it is the most peaceful experience, even as I sweat, hike, snot, ache, shiver and move my body along.

All this wondering and wandering has pushed me quite forcefully forward toward hiking the AT…..so curious how I will unfurl.